12:35 am-Christmas, i was rubbing lola’s back, she was vomitting, her body was rejecting the meds given to her. around that time, my uncle and his wife came so i left the room, i fell asleep and didn’t even eat noche buena.
i woke up at around 7 am, i was having a bad feeling, i thought it was because i didn’t eat noche buena and didn’t celebrate Christmas eve… i fell asleep again….
9:26 am-Christmas morning, i was awakened by my mom’s scream. she found my lola dead on her bed.
on a hospital setting, you have to check the pulse, the eyes, the heartbeat, the respirations etc… but this time, i didn’t have to check, she was cold. i can see it in her face, she’s gone.
and all the things that rushed into my mind was regrets, pain, confusion and nothing. i can’t think of anything right.
i was thinking, how can someone be so alive and the next thing their dead?
When i was young, me and my cousins together with my mom’s siblings get together for Christmas. Until, my lolo died. The Christmas reunions became rare, until there was none. usually we just see each other after Christmas, but often, we’re incomplete. People became busy.
But that day, people came. we we’re all there. Me and my cousins where outside lola’s room, while lola’s sons and daughters were inside the room, in grief.
so i thought….
Its ironic how Christmas can’t get us together but a Death can.
all the pain and grief is over,
every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
safely home in Heaven at last.
Then you must not grieve so sorely,
for i love you dearly still;
try to look beyond Earth’s shadows,
Pray to trust our Father’s will.
-Excerpt from SAFELY HOME
Rest in Peace Lola.
+Benita Parinas Ganituen June 29, 1923-December 25, 2011
05.01.12 
14:11 PM
